Shakespeare and "Red-neck Crazy"

If you know me, you'll know that I love certain country songs. I hate others. I've gotten really good at hearing the first few opening strains and knowing whether it's time to turn it off, or whether it's a gem like "Would You Go With Me," "Runnin' Outta Moonlight," "Everybody's Got Somebody But Me," or "A Little More Country Than That." But by default, I've heard my share of stupid country songs - the songs that give country music a bad name among some people, because anyplace you go when you live out here, you're going to collide with country music.

Probably the worst song to come out recently (stupidity-wise) is "Redneck Crazy" by Tyler Farr. I just laugh in pain every time I hear the chorus in the feed-store. Besides containing a couple of cuss-words, this song is like Ernest T. Bass drunk:

"I'm gonna aim my headlights into your bedroom windows
Throw empty beer cans at both of your shadows.
I didn't come here to start a fight but I'm up for anything tonight.
You done broke the wrong heart, baby, and drove me red-neck crazy."

Seriously. That's the chorus. That's the best part of this singularly inane song. By now you'll be wondering why the heck I decided to write a post about stupid country songs; here's the answer:

I've been on a bit of a Shakespeare kick in recent days, and I'm currently reading Twelfth Night. I was sprawled out on Mama's couch reading, waiting for Levi to fall to sleep the other night and I literally laughed aloud when I came to this part:

Olivia: ...a gracious person. But yet I cannot love him.

        He might have took his answer long ago.

Viola: If I did love you in my master's flame,

           With such a suffering, such a deadly life,

           In your denial I would find no sense;

           I would not understand it.

Olivia: Why, what would you?

Viola: Make me a willow cabin at your cate

         and call upon my soul within the house.

         Write loyal cantons of contemned love

          And sing them loud even in the dead of night.

          Halloo your name to the reverberate hills

          And make the babbling gossip of the air

          Cry out, 'Olivia!' Oh, you should not rest

          Between the elements of air and earth,

          But you should pity me.

Guys. Do you not get this? Either Tyler Farr is way better-read than we all assume from his lyric-writing abilities, or Shakespeare wrote "Redneck Crazy" before anyone even knew what country-music was.

I can't even.

Shakespeare: "Oh, you should not rest between the elements of earth and air..."

Tyler Farr: "Nah, he can't amount to much by the look of that little truck. He won't be getting any sleep tonight."

I still think it's a ridiculous song - that's probably why these lines were written for Twelfth Night which is a comedy about star-crossed lovers. It's hilarious, the way that man's nature has, evidently, not changed when it comes to dealing with rejected love suits.

There are two lessons to be learned from this episode:

• Never assume Rednecks don't read Shakespeare 
• Never say no to the proposal of a man who is crazy about you.

I....can't...even...

*Goes off in a puddle of laughter*