The Clumsy Part of Love

I think the hardest part about love is wondering how to do it. Love can be clumsy.

Love can hurt while seeking to heal. It can harm while trying to help. I'm the type of person who sees a friend hurting and wants so badly to know how to help them in the exact right way that I'm rendered ineffectual. Sarah's far better at saying, "You know, it's the thought that counts," and moving along in the ways of love, ministering to everyone. It is hard to want to help but to feel incapable. I know there are times when nothing you can say or do is going to make things better. I know there are times when grief and heartbreak are what is needed.

But I can always love.

See, the clumsy love is still valuable. I didn't realize this until Sarah and I started talking about it, and her words to me were something along the lines of, "At least they know you care, even if you're not helping in the exact right way." The longer we talked about it, the more I realized that it's actually true. So I'm going forward and fumbling my way along the paths of love like an American in Tanzania who has no idea what language the people speak but knows that they need water and food and medical help. I'm stumbling along and accidentally bumping into bruises and wincing for my friends and hoping they can overlook the clumsy and see to the love that's filling my soul for their battered hearts. I hope they can. I know someday they will.

And then like a faint faint dawn breaking through the swath of night, God brings a realization to me: I don't need to think about how to get them out of this, past this, through this. I need to help them in this. And suddenly my fear that I'll be clumsy in my love starts to fade because I can do this. Some tragedies, heartbreaks, dark valleys are too too deep and terrifying to simply get over. Sometimes it's Love's turn to play catch-me-if-you-can and to keep the faintest spark of hope kindled in the soul of another. I've got my orders now and they've been confirmed:

Cup the flame.

That's all I need to do. Clumsy people can cup a flame. People who don't know how to love in all the perfect ways can cup a flame. People who have never experienced huge dark places or immense tragedies can cup a flame. People who--in all honestly--cannot relate can cup a flame.
And the way to cup that flame, to keep that hope alive?

Keep whispering light, keep giving hugs, keep not-letting them go. When they let their hope fizzle, strike a match and ignite it again. It's like being a backwards fire-man. We're like dragons needing to keep whispering encouragement to the little flame that might someday become a dragon again if it only keeps its chin up. We're the life-guards not letting the limp swimmer keep their head underwater, even if it would be so peaceful to just give in and drown; we shove them into the pure, wholesome air again and again and when we drag them onto a bit of shore, we might even have to give them a bit of our own breath to get their lungs pumping again. I don't mean a codependent, unhealthy sort of IT IS MY JOB TO KEEP YOU ALIVE! I mean...I mean infirmary work. The same tender care a nurse gives a patient under her watch:

"That's the infirmary work...to make the best of the circumstances. They bring us their own despair. It is our job to steal them a crumb of hope. Anything. Anything that will rouse a man from the profound grief of his infirmity is worthwhile. There is no healing without hope. Despair is living death."

-Penelope Wilcock

I mean loving even a little rudely if it means that you will be able to steal that crumb of hope for the languishing patient. I mean loving as part of the body of Christ: strengthening the weak knees and the hands that hang down. I mean responding to the hue and cry of desperate trumpets and doing what you can bit by bit to ease the way in love for these faltering brothers and sisters who are so precious to us:

"The work is great and extensive and we are separated far from one another on the wall. Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, rally to us there. Our God will fight for us." -Nehemiah 4:19-20

Jesus is the doctor. I'm the nurse. I can't heal but I can minister, soothe, love. And if the love that I can give is just crumb-stealing, why, even the weakest, clumsiest one of us can do that.

Lord, let Your love shine through me and soothe these frail souls. Give me grace and wisdom in how best to cup the flame of Your hope that is flickering in the torrential downpour of griefs and sorrows in these sweet lives. Let me not focus on my own clumsiness, but on the skill of Your hands, and fight for these, Your people. Amen.

"For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

Our hearts and prayers go out to the Tate family. On Monday, this godly man went to be with his Lord after suffering a heart attack. He left behind 7 beautiful children and a very godly wife. Please pray for them in this difficult and heart-breaking time. Mr. Tate left behind a fantastic legacy, and anyone who's ever met him, will tell you that he was a true solider for Christ. 

Ms. Gina, Grace, Daniel, Stephen, Nigel, Hope, Adam and Joel---this song is for you. <3 

Blocked For Glamour? Maybe After All! ;)

Recently, a friend of ours set up a website for her wedding. But Morgan Wilson told me on Sunday, that their computer blocked it for "glamour"! :P I found that so funny, and then thought, wow! I wonder if I'll ever qualify for a "glamour blockade"? ;)
Last night I was reading the latest issue of the Above Rubies magazine. As I do every time, I skim the articles, and then study the pictures of the families, seeing how many kids they have, what their ages are, how many girls, etc. And then I read about the young women who are being "Above Rubies helpers". These young women come to stay at Mrs. Nancy Campbell's home, and help with the ministry and magazine. Many of them are near my age. And it set me to thinking about two things. The first thought that entered my head was, "Oh wow. That would be really cool, to do something like that." And it does seem so....grand to be a Christian young woman and be an intern in some ministry like that, or do a missions trip for several months, or something equally interesting.
And then the second thought entered. "But you know, your life could sound like that." and was closely followed by, "Some girls are chosen to do the "glamorous" things!"
Often times, we young ladies spend too much time gazing pensively over the fence to the green grass on the other side. We see some girls in the certainly intriguing position of office helper to a well-known ministry, or some other such thing, and we begin to devalue the place God has prepared for us right now. I will admit, that as a young lady, telling someone: "I worked in the Above Rubies ministry the past 3 months" sounds a whole lot more....amazing than: "I spent my summer working in our home, working in our garden, and in our family business." And yet...is it so much more valuable? I beg leave to say that if your heart is right, it doesn't matter what you are doing- to Jesus, you will be an amazing success! Too many times I know I am guilty of understating the ministry the Lord has portioned for me, in lieu of wishing I was "one of those girls". Really, if I stopped and described my family as the intricate workplace it is, I'd be truly surprised. So here it goes: "I have spent my summer working in our family business as the office manager, learning to make my own clothes, preserving the harvest from the garden for the winter, hosting multiple families in our home, hosting church every Sunday, finishing my remaining school-work, editing a book I am hoping to publish very soon, and ministering in many other ways." That all is honest-to-goodness truth. The same summer I so blankly described before. When presented this way, suddenly my life appears almost as glamorous as those young ladies in the homeschool magazines! This may not sound quite so dainty as you may like to hear, but in speaking of the season the Lord has placed us each in, we can say with the assistant coach in "Facing the Giants", "It don't have to be perfect. It don't have to look pretty. It can look like a dyin' duck!"
But as long as our heart is in it, and our minds are focused on Christ, I have a feeling the glamour will no longer matter. So next time anyone asks you how you have spent your summer, try thinking of your life in Jesus' eyes, and I am certain you're description will sound amazing to your own ears as well as their's. :) -Rachel

Life Chain Event

Hi! Yesterday we hosted church at our house, and after, alot of us left early to go do a Life Chain demonstration at Town Center, about an hour away. Life Chain is a national group that organizes special demonstrations where families can stand holding signs and praying for abortion to stop in our nation. It is not a rally, or a protest, but just a peaceful time of prayer and reflection. We stood holding signs and praying as the cars passed for an hour. Most of the motorists were respectful and would give us a thumb's up or beep. At first I was holding a sign that said, "Abortion Kills Children", and then I switched with Stephen T. and held one that said, "Lord, forgive us and our nation." On the backs of the signs they have prayer topics, and I also spent some of the time memorizing 2 Chronicles 7:14 "If My people, who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and forgive their sins, and heal their land." This event goes on every year, and we we've gone for two. I really like it, because it is truly just an hour of prayer, and it gets you thinking about more aspects than one of "abortion is bad". It gets you praying for the mothers that are getting abortions, and for the doctors that are doing them. For the motorists passing by, and for the leaders in our country. I was especially reminded of Gracie's story:
When Mama was pregnant with Gracie, among a couple of other things, she got an ultrasound, and we were told that they had found somethings called "nucleafolds" (sp?) in her neck. Basically, the doctors told us that Gracie would have Down's syndrome. It was a bit of a shock to us, but we were peaceful, and went ahead and found out whether she was a boy or a girl. (A girl obviously.) Dad and Mama wanted us to start thinking about this baby as a real person, and they wanted to name her and everything. Then when she was born, she was perfectly healthy with no kind of mental problem at all! We named her Grace, because it was by God's grace that she was healed! But we did learn something very sobering- 90% of all babies that are diagnosed with Down's syndrome are aborted! Now, we wouldn't love Grace any less if she had been born with a mental condition, but think of all those babies! Think of all the sweet people with mental conditions that you've met, and realize that hundreds of babies like them are killed! And think of all the babies like Gracie who are healed, or had a misdiagnosis, and they are just killed and thrown away like trash! I can't comprehend how anyone could kill a poor baby just because it would need extra help when it was growing up. I think Down's syndrome people are probably the ones that make Jesus smile most continually. They are like little children all the time, and only if we believe with simple faith like a child will we be saved. It is heartwrenching to think of the poor babies, and we need to pray desperately for abortion to be banned in our country. God's light will shine despite the darkness of this world, but we need to be tools for Him to use to help shine that light, and I feel that this Life Chain is a wonderful way to do that! Anyway, just thought I'd ramble for a minute! -Rachel

p.s. this is a newborn picture of Gracie. Isn't she sweet?

Cookies for Prison Ministry

Today we made 30 dozen cookies for Kairos Prison Ministry. The cookies are going to be given to prisoners this week by this ministry as they hold an Emmaeus type weekend. We had a few girls over to help us bake the cookies. The idea is to pray for the prisoners as you make the cookies so we started off by praying as a group and then split into teams. Rachel, Alaina W. ,and Abby made oatmeal cookies, Sarah and Hannah T. made peanut butter, Anna, Emma W. and Lydia T. made chocolate chip, and Leah, Charity T., and Benjamin made sugar cookies. We had stations set up around the kitchen for all the different teams, and a no-man's land in the middle for the ingredients everyone would need. We also had a little bell that we would ring every once in a while to pray for the prisoners and keep us in the right spirit of the whole thing. When we started, Mama read this passage from Matthew 25: 34-40: "Then the King will say to those on His right hand, `Come, you blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave me food; I was thirsty and you gave drink; I was a stranger and you took me in; I was naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you visited me; I was in prison and you came to me.'
"Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, `Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothed You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison and come to You?' and the King will answer and say to them, `Assuredly I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these, My brethren, you did it to Me.'"

So we really wanted the spirit of the whole thing to be prayerful and focused on ministering to the prisoners. Also, we had been asked to make 36 handwritten notes for them. That meant about 4 for most of us. We wrote favorite Bible verses and verses from hymns, and decorated the cards with markers, crayons, and gel pens. Every time a batch of cookies was finished baking one of the girls from the team would ring the bell and pray for prisoners, guards and chaplains. Mrs. T. had the good idea to pick a certain name like"John" or "Daniel" and pray for all the men of that name who would be ministered to this weekend. Although, it was a focused time, we still had a lot of fun working together to make all those cookies! We started a 10:00, and didn't stop baking until 2:30! We sort of ate lunch on the fly, and then cleaned up! Boy, there were a lot of dishes!
After everything was cleaned up, and we were all thoroughly tired, we got Daniel (who'd been running the chipper with Benjamin) to help us play volleyball. Each team won 1 game, so of course we had to play a tie-breaker. And Sarah's team won! Rachel would like to think that the reason her team lost was because the the sun was in their eyes, but unfortunately, the sun was behind a cloud all through the last game. ;)
It was a really blessed time and we hope to repeat it soon. There were a lot of extra cookies so that each family got a dozen of each kind to take home!
Well, that's been our day and Sarah's gonna have to fix dinner soon, so we'd best go!