As terrifying as poor fashion-sense may be, let us put aside our bad taste for one day, and CELEBRATE! What is there to celebrate? *Giggle* Oh my! You have been living in a bubble, haven't you?
Why, FASHION, of course! I'm here on this bee-YOU-tee-full day to give you the Oz-errific scoop on How To Be Glitzy. It's kind of a specialty of mine and I've decided to make you my new project.
All the most important-est points will be highlighted in PINK because that is just the BESTEST COLOR in the history of OZ. (Besides. It's faaaaaabulous on me!)
I know I don't have to do this but...that's what makes me so nice. Because, whenever I see someone less fortunate than I (and let's face it: who isn't less fortunate than I?) my tender heart tends to start to bleed. And I get all worked up and excited about taking over makeovers to help everyone and show them proper ploys when they talk to boys: little ways to flirt and flounce. I mean, that's why they call me Galinda the Good--because I'm so Uh-mazing. If you want to look elegant and refined and gorgeous ('scuse me, those words back there are pronounced "ME".) then we'll have to start with the basics. Firstly and mostly important of all important things is your attitude!
We are looking for MODERN, people. Modern. If you wanna go a little bit cute and vintage, then do it with pizazz! Why can't people dress from history instead of always harping on the past? I think it's possible, and paired with the CUTEST attitude, you'll know exactly how to look
The first thing I'm gonna help you with is how to flip your hair. Just... Flip it! Flip! Flip! Oh my. This is a bit more involved than I thought. Of course, gold hair with a gentle curl is the thing That Boy goes for, but any hair can be flipped if ya just know how to do it. To Oz-aggerate my point, I found some gals who do it right:
Oh wait: They're all me! Oopsies!
When I see depressing creatures with unprepossessing features, I take in consideration what sort of makeup they ought to wear. Makeup is how a woman wears her soul on her face and knowing how to do it right will make you Pop-u-lar...LAR. (Just not quite as popular as me!) It's so fabulous what a bit of lipstick will do to a gal...nailpolish too. Sparkly, of course:
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| Cirque even named this one after me: Galinda! Isn't it prettyful? |
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| Look how Oz-ical! |
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| Perfect for a night at the Oz-Dust Ballroom! |
Some girls cake on the creams and powders and hide their natural beauty. Of course you'll never be as naturally beautiful as moi, but just look at what I did with Elphaba! Learning how to properly apply foundation, blush, and bronzer is essentialiffic!
As far as clothes go, SPARKLE. Who wants ta be dull when you could shizzle! We've got to work on your sad and sorryfullistic fascination with gingham. It's so...ordinary!
This is the stuff dreams are made of:
But if sparkles aren't your thing (I know, I rockify them better than anyone!), you could go with a sweet pink something that will make you buh-loom like a rose! Even if you are unfortunate enough to have been born with green skin, y'know what I always say: Pink goes good with green!
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| Not My Creation |
And every girl needs to have a black dress to look properly swankified! You know black is this year's pink! Go ahead and splurge: You deserve each other, this dress and you. You're both so...smart!
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| OOOOH! |
And what every girl needs if she's gonna look as stunning and gorgeous as Galinda (that's me), is the perfect pair of shoes!
Sweet and Sparkly:
Or a little bit Wicked:
There are shoes for every sorta kinda gal under the great big moon and the perfect pair is the key to finish off any dazzle-rama. With my tips on how to Dazzle, Shizzle, and Sparkle, is there any social event you can't rock? (Oh yeahhhhh. Any one I'm attending.) The only comment I have left to make is about the color yellow.
My advice on How To Wear Yellow? Don't even try. Everyone learns the hard way that unless you're Galinda, yellow's just not the thing. Me? The super-special green goggles help everyone to bear how brilliantly I shine in my sunny yellow gown.
Sometimes, though, you just don't have the money in your wallet to spend on buying gorgeous things like I have. Know what's good to do then? Take an hour to wallow in self-pity and go to Pinterest.com! And sing something pretty to yourself while browsing like:
"See that tragically beautiful girl?
The one in the chair?
It seems so unfair she should go on a spree
And not we...gee....I wish someone would be my hero,
If that someone were to go consign her....
Oh really, sir, you would do that for meeeeeee?"
You've followed all my tips?
You'll remember all my splenderifous advice?
Well....just look at you: You're beautifulllllll.
You have to go? Well...you're welcome.
- ***Galinda***
** (with a "guh") **
P.s. And though you protest your disinterest, I know clandestinely. You're gonna grin and bear it: your new-found popularity! You'll be popular....just not quite as popular. As. MEEEEEEEEE.
P.s. 2. All credit for the publicity shots of my beautiful self and all the other bedazzle goes to Pinterest.com
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I read this whole post in her voice.... :D
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